He finished reading and looked up. A woman in her 60s was staring at him as she walked past, and an instant later she spat. I'm sure it was a coincidence, he thought. She didn't look at me, sitting on the bench, listening to Tortoise's TNT album, waiting for my son's football practice to conclude.
Had she looked into his head, realised what he was listening to and been so disgusted that she had no option but to spit?
There were two scenarios:
- The timing just worked out such that she was planning to spit at about the time the man looked in her direction; they locked eyes and she was too late to stop her spit. She'd committed. The die was cast.
- Or, she looked at him, thoroughly enjoying Tortoise's third album and thought, On one hand, TNT is a post-rock landmark for its seamless blend of jazz, dub, electronic, ambient and experimental rock. On the other hand, it also makes me want to spit.
The first scenario was most likely, the man thought. He continued, The album is instrumental, with intricate layers of sound created by a variety of instruments, including guitar, bass, vibraphone, synthesizers, and horns. It's perfect spitting music! I love the opening track, the title track, which sets the tone with a jazzy, laid-back groove before evolving into more complex and textured soundscapes. The album feels exploratory, as tracks drift from one mood to another, sometimes mellow and spacious, other times frenetic and rhythmically driven. The use of electronic effects, looping, and unconventional time signatures gives the music a forward-thinking, almost cinematic feel, creating a soundscape that feels both modern and timeless.
The woman stopped, turned back around and yelled at the man.
"I'm a mind-reader and a clairvoyant, you jerkwad," she said. "Just to clarify my spit motivation: TNT makes me want to spit! Post-rock hipster cool music is disgust. I gotta spit that out!"
The man debated whether to say anything. Instead, he thought, "What about the meticulous production, which emphasises the space between the notes as much as the notes themselves, lending the album a sense of openness.?"
"That makes me want to spit, too," the woman said. She spat. "All of their oeuvre is disgusting to me!"
Well, the man thought. But TNT is an album that rewards patience and close listening, offering a dynamic range of emotions and textures. It stands out as a cornerstone of the post-rock genre for its ability to weave multiple influences into a cohesive and deeply atmospheric experience.
"Do you have any water?" the woman said. "I'm out of saliva."
The man continued listening to TNT, thinking of nothing, just enjoying the music. The woman walked to a nearby cornershop, bought a bottle of water, took a drink, thought of other albums by Tortoise, like Standards, Beacons of Ancestorship, The Catastrophist, did a massive spit take, then walked home, as droplets of her disgust hovered in the air, the sunlight shooting through them, the light refracted briefly into a rainbow then settled on the street and, over the next few hours, evaporated.
